My Teeth and I: Not a symbiotic relationship

I lost a tooth. Technically it just fell out. I didn’t really lose it. It’s in a bag sitting on my counter. The problem is, I’m not five anymore and it’s just not cute. Nor will money appear if I put it under my pillow.

Now granted, it’s not one of my own, it’s a crown. But, it’s not designed to be removable. So, that’s an issue.

So, back to the dentist I go (only cause he forbids me to use superglue). Of course, I was just there last week. It couldn’t have happened then.

It’s not that I don’t have a good dentist, it’s just that when you have to pay great gobs of money to see someone, it does tend to put a damper on your desire to see them.

I remember the last tooth that fell out of my mouth.  Yes, this has happened before. Sigh. I was out of state at a writer’s retreat and didn’t have a car. I cajoled my roommate, Delores, into driving me all over town to look for magic stick-teeth-back-in-your-mouth paste. I finally acquired said stuff only to find that it didn’t work.

“Well precious,” I said to myself,” just leave it out and deal with it when you get back home in a few days.” After all, it was only half the crown that broke off and fell out – slippery little things apparently. But the real problem was that it was my front tooth. Yeah, can you say, attractive?

So, what’s a girl to do except make like a redneck and take your Tooth out when eating, then glue that puppy back in afterwards, in hopes of pulling off  five minutes of the illusion that you’re really normal. What do they say about first impressions?

Well, you can imagine my moment of horror whilst talking late into the night to the awesome Susie May Warren I had forgotten all about it. In sharing my story with her, my enthusiasm got the best of me, and my tooth took flight. How does one look nonchalant about that sort of thing? Just plug it back in and keep on talking as if nothing happened? After I crawled out of my hole, I was thereafter dubbed as “Redneck Mary”.  And red faced.

So, I guess I should be thankful this time that my tooth didn’t get launched at anyone. However, I did come close to swallowing it. But that would have been another story….

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