So, the other day I got jalapeno juice in my nose and lungs.
I would not recommend it. Definitely not for the faint of heart.
How pray tell did this happen? Glad you asked.
First of all, I am a blonde. But in my defense, I am also a very dedicated wife and mother. Striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman but failing miserably. But the effort should count for something, right?
All I was doing was making Bronco Burgers for the fam. These monsters have every possible spice known to mankind and then have pepper jack cheese piled on top. Basically heartburn on a bun.
Why couldn’t I just be content with the canned jalapenos? We’ll never know. Instead I went for the authentic, burn-your-face-off, fresh jalapenos. I cut off the tops and de-seeded them when I guess my nose itched. So, I scratched it. Not a good idea.
My nose began to burn. Badly. But how exactly do you extract an infinitesimal amount of jalapeno juice from the tip of your nose? I washed my hands and then my nose, drying it with a paper towel. Big mistake.
My swiping just spread the sensation around. Now the inside of my nostril was burning. As I breathed it, my lungs began to rebel. I felt like I was having an allergic reaction. I had no idea what to do, so I tried ice.
Aaah, much better. But I couldn’t leave an ice-cube stuck to my nose permanently. Nor could I cook one-handed.
So, while I had some icy relief, I decided to google, “what to do when you get jalapeno juice in your nose and lungs.” Believe it or not, there was nothing listed. I know, really.
**Insert new brilliant idea here – “Google for Blondes” – help for those who truly need it in the areas of life no one else needs.**
And so, after my nose calmed down, I turned to my hubby who took one look at me and said, “why is your nose so red?” “Oh, it’s frozen” I replied. He chuckled, “weren’t you making dinner?” “Well yes but I’ve had an accident that involved a jalapeno and my nose. Now I’m afraid to touch those vile things, so I think our Bronco burgers will have a little less kick.”
Well, that was no bueno for him. This man wanted his kick. Hmmm…
So, being the awesome wife and mother that I am, I did indeed touch those horrid things. And when the skins were nicely blackened and I diced them up, they looked like they just came out of the can.
Sigh. The things I do for my family.