It started with such a simple idea. Make a cake for the library’s little baking contest. How hard can that be?
I picked my gluten-free carrot cake recipe. I’ve made it many times before. It is time consuming but otherwise fairly easy.
Except this time. I decided to be fancy.
My normal carrot cake method? A long 9 x 13 pan. Not pretty, but who cares it just takes so stinkin good.
Well this time, I thought, I can do better. I’ll layer it. And make extra cream cheese frosting to cover the whole thing.
But instead of two round cake pans, which by the way are designedfor layered cakes, I chose my springform pan. Why? Ours is not to wonder why. I just did.
Being thicker I knew it would take longer. I accounted for that.
Except not enough.
It looked done. So I took it out.
And then the sag began. A little at first. Then the grand canyon of sags. Because after all, if you’re going to sag, then really sag!
Stink! Stink! Stink! Who messes up the world’s easiest cake, except me!
So, I decided to slice it in half to see if it looked any better on the inside than the outside. After examining this growing disaster, I had a brilliant idea. I’ll just put both halves back in the oven individually. Then it’ll finish baking, right?
Yeah, well, not. For some reason, it still stayed a little gooey on the inside and the consistency of concrete on the outer edges. Gee this sounds delicious.
Well, nothing that a little – scratch that – a LOT of frosting won’t solve. Except that as I tried to mix the topping, it got sucked up into my mixer. Well, that can’t be good.
Alright, mixer’s cleaned out. Now I’m running late with all these extra steps that definitely weren’t in the original directions.
I’m supposed to be at the library right now, so I guess I am frosting a hot cake. That only amplified the pothole effect. So, I added more frosting. It now resembles a mountain of cream cheese frosting with thin carrot cake layers.
I began to think about how embarrassed I was going to be walking in to the library with the world’s ugliest cake. I pictured myself tripping on the way in and this mound of sugar on a plate would land frosting side down on the carpet. I considered that might have been a better option because at least I could pretend it looked good before I dropped it.
I wondered if I could get away with entering it in the children’s category until I got there and saw that those cakes looked better than mine.
So, I just deposited my baking disaster and scurried away quickly. When it was taste testing time, my daughter and mother in law were given strict instructions. Inside the door, to the left – is the cake that shall not be named. Do not look at it. Do not taste it. And do not talk about it. In fact, it would be best to stay away from that side of the room altogether.
Later that day, contestants came back to pick up their empty plates. Except I also picked up most of my white blob too.
And do you know why this happened? Because I tried to be fancy! I should have known. I don’t do fancy. Mostly cause nothing about me is fancy. Not my hairstyle, choice of clothes or home decorating. Easy, uncluttered, simple. Just like I want my brain. Plug and play. That’s all I ask out of things in my life.
What about you? Are you a plain cake or frosting and sprinkles kind of person?