A friend sent me a text recently asking, “how are you?”
A pretty simple question, but one that I suddenly didn’t know how to answer. (Side bar note, I do have a tendency to over think things. ) But, how am I? How am I what?
How am I feeling? Well, ask me in five minutes and how I feel may very well change as fickle feelings so often do.
How am I doing with handling the challenges life has thrown at me? Again, in five minutes my grip may grow stronger or more desperate. Stick around for both answers.
How is my thinking? How well am I not mentally dwelling on those challenges? Well, once more my schizophrenia may become all too apparent from moment to moment.
Well, then how about, how am I growing in my walk with Christ? Ah, now we’re getting somewhere real.
Often I feel like a child who purposely lets go of her father’s hand in a crowded place, it is the child who has caused the separation. And is temporarily lost. Life hasn’t really changed, just their sense of comfort at that moment.
When my daughter was about four years old, our family made a trip to SeaWorld. I went one way with my son, and my husband to another area with my daughter and her friend. As the two girls crawled up in the play tubes at Shamoo’s Happy Harbor, his heart sunk when those tubes split and my daughter crawled one way and her friend went the other – ending up in completely different areas. What is a parent to do? Feeling more obligation for my daughter’s friend, he ran and grabbed the girl then ran desperately to the other end of the slide to no avail. Our daughter was lost. Not such a happy harbor.
By the time we all met up, he had since found her, but not without a heavy heart. Fortunately, I was spared the trauma. I was fine. But if you were to ask my husband at that moment of separation how he was? The desperate reply would have been far less than fine.
And so, on the days when I hold tight to my Father, I am confident that He and I can conquer the world. But when my heart wanders away, I stand still desperate and afraid. I don’t like those times. You’d think I’d learn. But, I am slow. It is good that He is patient. He simply stretches out His hand to me once again.
And so, today, how are you?