Giving up or Giving in?

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Do you freeze up when you’re taking a test? You know the material but suddenly it’s locked too deep in your brain to mine out. Your hands sweat and that familiar churning in your stomach begins. You listen to the second hand on the clock tick, not sure if you want it to slow down so you can accomplish more or speed up to end the misery. Ugh!

Life can be a lot like that.

I just turned fifty this year. Mid life… so they say. But since I’m not likely to live to one hundred, I guess I’m beyond the middle point.

Suffice it to say I’ve lived a bit. Halfwayish through my test of life. And how have I fared?

Well some issues in life I was sure I Aced but it turns out I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Other areas I sat & stared at the problem before me without a clue what to do and then moved on. They’re still sitting there staring back at me, unresolved.

Some things I actually think I did pretty well on, but at this point, my confidence has been so badly shaken, I’m not sure I can hope for those to be completely accurate either.

I haven’t turned the page yet today, but this one thing I know is that it contains more problems. I take a deep breath. I’m growing weary and working slower as my strength diminishes.

Frankly, many days I’d just assume forfeit. My feeble attempts seem so insignificant. But the hands on the clock are still ticking.

I look at my Study Guide for some help.

“Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength fails.” Psalm 71:9

Aaah. Then I join with the Psalmist in asking for the strength that I so desperately need. Maybe today, instead of giving up, I’ll simply give in. To Him.

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