“Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10
Be still. Foreign words in my life.
Busyness is my constant companion. Admittedly, the older I get, the slower I am. Nearing still.
But my mind is far from it? It ever hamster-spins from morning until night. Running, running. From before I get out of bed my thoughts assault me with an entourage of shoulds and have to dos today.
Internally, I am frantic that something will not get done. A ball will get dropped. I won’t meet the deadline. And then… I will have failed. I didn’t come through. I missed it.
My inner perfectionist doesn’t care about the 99% success rate. It is the 1% that I messed up that gets pinned to my chest for all to see.
Mean, ugly voices are never satisfied. To them, I am never good enough.
Yet, I keep trying.
But another Voice, above the enemy of my soul, whispers. Beckons.
I drop one heavy leg over the bed and haul myself up. It is early, dark and cold. The speeding up of my busy mind intersects with the slow wearing down of my aching bones.
With necessary coffee in hand and the Words of life on my lap, I sit in my chair.
The voices remind me I have so much to do. I should get moving. Your Voice tells me there is only thing that is needful.
The voices tell me to hurry. I’ll be late. Things won’t get done. You tell me… just be still. I don’t need to be perfect, You are.
I exhale the noise of the voices of stress, inadequacy, and perfectionism. I inhale Your Voice which quiets my soul so I can hear You whisper. You are God.